Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Where are you?

When all of you are around
It's noisy and distracting
I don't mind it
I can concentrate on what am doing
I mean,
'When I want'...
It's warm and cozy
I can come and talk
Anytime I want
At least one of you is there
For me...
Even no one is here to hear me out
I am okay
Because I know
You guys are somewhere
Nearby
So I can talk later...
But, now
Almost all the spots are empty
None of my friends are here
No one will even come later
I went to your desks few times
They look clean and orderly
I have a strong feeling
Of emptiness...
Isn't this saying
I am lonely and
Bored with nothing???
Ohh no
At least one of you could come...
It reminds me
The loneliness I had
On my early days...

Methma
Jan 2, 2018


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10 comments:

  1. ඉයන්January 3, 2018 at 12:11 AM

    The real life loneliness, is compensated by the online friends? I really liked the first half.
    correct the spellings in 'bored' (in bored with nothing?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ApoorumalJanuary 3, 2018 at 2:43 AM

      Thanks Ian, I corrected it. I am still bad on spellings

      Delete
    2. ApoorumalJanuary 3, 2018 at 3:05 AM

      // The real life loneliness, is compensated by the online friends?//

      A good question. At least having online friends are better than no one. That's what I am trying to do here. I mean, trying to compensate my loneliness with some online friends. Isn't it?

      Anyway, there is something that online friends can never do. That's the sense of presence of a human being. That's what I really missed today. Even through one doesn't talk with me, if she/he is near by I feel okay.

      Resently, I was angry with my husband and didn't talk with him. I was totally fine until the moment he left the home for some work. I felt lonely and upset at the moment he left. And was really happy at the time he unexpectedly returned albeit I didn't show it. :)

      Delete
    3. ApoorumalJanuary 3, 2018 at 3:08 AM

      Ian, can you please tell me untill which line you like?

      Can you also tell me why don't you like the latter part?

      I am just asking to improve myself.

      Delete
    4. ඉයන්January 3, 2018 at 4:44 AM

      The poem is great. When reading the first half (until logging in) it meant a poem on loneliness, which can be very poetic. Logging in to find friends sounded a bit 'mechanical' or narrative. If I edit this I would delete few lines, and would read like

      When all of you are around
      It's noisy and distracting
      I don't mind it
      I can concentrate on what am doing
      I mean,
      'When I want'...
      It's warm and cozy
      I can come and talk
      Anytime I want
      At least one of you is there
      For me...
      Even no one is here to hear me out
      I am okay
      Because I know
      You guys are somewhere
      Nearby
      So we can talk later...
      But, now
      Almost all the spots are empty
      None of my friends are here
      No one will even come later
      I went to your desks few times
      They look clean and orderly
      I have a strong feeling
      Of emptiness...
      Isn't this saying
      I am lonely and
      Bored with nothing???
      Ohh no
      At least one of you could come...
      It reminds me
      The loneliness I had
      On my early days...

      Delete
    5. ApoorumalJanuary 3, 2018 at 2:45 PM

      Thanks Ian. After removing those lines it's perfect. I updated it in that way.

      Looks like, the line "I came to my desk and typed the password" is misleading. I always work on computer. What I mean is, "I came back to my desk after searching them and typed the password to login to my computer to resume my work". Not about online friends. Anyway, I it's better without those lines.

      At the moment I compose this poem, those mismatching ideas came to my mind. Without thinking much on the overall effect I included it. My bad.

      I always admire your genuine comments

      Delete
    6. ඉයන්January 3, 2018 at 4:54 PM

      :) Your poems are a refreshing change to the monotonous Sinhalese blogsphere.

      Delete
    7. ApoorumalJanuary 3, 2018 at 5:23 PM

      Thanks Ian.

      What a nice encouraging statement :)

      Delete
  2. කල්‍යාණ මිත්‍රJanuary 3, 2018 at 7:19 PM

    Agree.. It is a different feeling altogether when you keep yourself silence from people around you and when you have to keep quit as there is no one around you.. :/ The word loneliness it self doesn't express it correctly but a poem like this; surely does.

    You are becoming a handy poet.. heh heh.. keep writing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ApoorumalJanuary 22, 2018 at 9:27 AM

      Thank you ayya. I am happy that you enjoy my poem. I am going to write more and more....

      Delete

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